Filed under: spiritual ponderings
I like going to centers of communities., places were folks from all walks of like are mashed together. My individualism has paved a way that rarely gets altered so I find grocery stores, the DMV and places like that I find to be a bit of an adventure. With that being said I went to the post office early this week. As a good husband with free time, I was running an errand for the wife. I was just expecting to make a quick trip because I had to be at work in the next fifteen minutes. What a found there was just a saddening experience. My little adventure was filled with a high level of contempt / anger / disfunction. The mailmale guy that was assisting me obviously hated his job – he made one negative comment after another and wouldnt be bothered by any request. A customer in front of me asked him to put 2 different kinds of stamps on the packaging he was sending. Im not a stamp collector but i dont know how you can collect the stamps that you are sending off – I agree with the mailmale guy that this was a dumb request but the mailmale guy responded, “its gonna would take about 15 minutes to do this! and everyone’s gonna to wait -you gotta be kidding me!”
well this was a little awkward
the situation got even harrier when an elderlymother&elderlyson combo where being helped at the next window. The elderly son was in his 50s i would assume. The life that he had seemed to have aged him beyond his years. The guy was struggling to add up the amount for his money order and his elderly mom kept getting the numbers wrong. Mailfemale helping them corrected him with their addition errors. This incited him to explode at her and combust internally. “700 PLUS 300 is 1150 MOM!!! ITS 1150!” he screamed walking out he says “YOU are so stupid – you cant get anything right. I hate this, hate this, hate this, You are always fuckin like this, always, im going to kill myself, fuckin kill myself. I hate you. I should just kill myself!”
all this happens as i am finishing up paying, and i essentially follow him out. Its obvious that he has some sort of psychological disorder, but I am stuck with the question. He is still muttering the same accusations to himself and seems a but manic. I am stuck with the question of what is my responsibility in this situation? I am a high believer in a Matthew 25 view of responding to needs. I often dont really know what Jesus wants out of my life, but I am confident that I at least should try to bring his values into the situations that are laid out before me – to me there is no question about that point of His message. I also hold a theology that believes that power encounters are possible if the Spirit prompts. In this situation i didnt feel the unction to intervene and didnt believe that saying anything would be of real value to the elderlyson. So I just walked out – did nothing. I dont necessarily feel guilty about my response but I am simply just saddened by the whole affair.
This little event revealed a bit of the underlying pain that is in this city. Everyday I see folks wander the streets muttering to themselves as i drive to school to learn hebrew or some other theological tidbit. I feel a bit inocculated by my lifestyle and schedule – I just want to know what it is my response suppose to be in these type of situations – how will i be judged in the end by this? I am not talking about worrying about some unneeded guilt but rather what are the ways that i fail to express the Kingdom in my physical community.
I know what the “answers” are but I would rather not rush to ease my conscience and would rather be stuck with the reality that these problems are not actually answered and I want the weight of the question to alter my experience towards the broken in the world.
Whatever I have learned about this subject thus far is obviously not enough.
Filed under: random thoughts
so i was fortunate enough to get to see U2 at the Rose Bowl last week. I gotta say it was a blast. Even though I came down with the flu, or some sort of bug, it was still amazing to see one of my favorite bands of all time. The thing i appreciate about U2 is not only their music – which is pretty amazing considering how long they have been around – but the fact that they enjoy being who they are. They arent pretentious a-holes like other rock bands, they know their celebrities but you still get a sense that they feel very fortunate for falling into this line of work. I like Coldplay for the same reason (who I saw earlier this summer). They enjoy performing and still get awed by their stardom.
Furthermore they have used their celebrity to open doors and create possibilities to help the world. I think this goes hand in hand with how their music has developed and evolved over their years. If they were just living hedonistic lives of coke and hookers you would see their music fall apart (ie Rolling Stones, not that their music was ever that great to begin with) They seemed to have ( in some small way) injected themselves into the struggle of poverty in Africa and other justice issues – this, i believe, has helped push their music into new dimensions and granted them a different perspective to help develop their art.
I digress – the performance was great – filled with songs both old and new. My personal highlights were ‘Until the End of the World’ and ‘Sunday Bloody Sunday’ that came with a shout for peace in Tehran. I look forward to seeing them again and seeing the ways this band further evolves as the years pass.
Filed under: random thoughts
and no its not too strong of a word
I was inspired by Stephen Colberts board of the folks that are on notice – I have been one that has been known to have an opinion in the past – I like to call it discerning tastes – so here is my top ten – im sure it will change bc I am just doing this on the whim.
1. When a customer service agent tells me they can not do something – when in fact they just dont want to
2. People that only talk about themselves incessantly and are also self proclaim experts on most topics – if you find that I avoid you, you may be one of these
3. Seminary douche bags – they are here, and there is an abundance. Its like a world full of youth ministers
4. Political Conservatives – not so much their views, rather there methods. Its like the boy who cried wolf, when you say you hate everything I cant hear you when you are making a valid point. Glen Beck, Limbaugh – Fox News in general – i have had enough
5. Los Angeles – more specifically Pasadena Water & Power
6. Most things on MTV – excluding Rob & Big – Fantasy Factory – Dyderk gets how rediculous this station is
7. Dust around my entertainment center – well dust in general – though i will admit i dont do much about it. My relationship with dust is one where we just stare at each other mockingly. I will say when my wife does clean it, it is quite a turn on - 
8. Dumb spirituality. I know this is america and everyone has a “right” to their opinion. But we dont listen to our cooky neighbor for medical advice – so why should we listen to some one who is merely only thinking what is on the top of their head and spewing it out as if it is gospel.
9. Ticketmaster – they wont show me what seats are actually available before i purchase and then they bend you over with service charges
10. When i think someone doesnt value my wifes friendship and give to her as much as she gives to them. My wife is quite possibly the best friend a person could ever have. Please do not take advantage of that
11. PCs – i made the switch to Mac’s and they really are better – Maybe if you are not some uber-computer engineer – but for 95% of the population its the only way to go. I almost forgot how much i hated the “blue screen of death” and this almost didnt make the list.
Filed under: spiritual ponderings
- obligations not met – hopes disappointed – trust being broken -trust may the most important thing that comes into a relationship. When its broken its hard to repair. Though forgiveness may come, there never seems to be an ability to completely forgive. A stain remains. I dont know if the stain is suppose to represent some sort of gain wisdom, as to assist you from getting hurt once again in the future or if the stain represents the weakness of our humanity. i dont think any one of us desires to linger onto these feelings but they seem impossible to completely scrub away.
this post isnt secretly intended towards any one event, or person or anything like that. Im just feeling a little down today and have to produce a paper – so instead of staring aimlessly at my screen or checking my fantasybaseball team for the upteenth time i thought i could defeat this writers block by just typing what was on my heart. im a decently positive person – meaning i look for the best in situations yet i have a keen eye to track and potential pitfalls, but today i just feel a little crummy and am hoping for brighter days.
what i want:
a fresh revelation of God so i would be encourage about my future
vision for 5 years from now
courage to do what is right in all situations
new scenery
all that being said – i am confident that we’ll get there – i just want the future to be now
Filed under: greatness
The wife and I are headin to Long Beach tomorrow for a little anniversary getaway. It should be alot of fun – enjoyin the sun and the sea – checkin out an aquarium – dress on all fancy and eatin at a high end steak joint – stayin at fancy hotel – gettin it all for cheap with our coupons But the best thing will be just hanging out with the most amazing person I have ever met – some how I must have put some wierd voodoo curse on her to make her keep loving me – but she sure does – and in the ways that I need it the most. She is perfect in every single sense of the word.
Filed under: random thoughts
On Friday I went to bed at 9:30pm – which is normal for the wife but absurd for me. But I was tired after a long week and knew that it would be best if I head to bed – I get up at 8am jump in the shower so that I can work on a paper. I spend most of the day reading and planning what I am going to actually argue for in my paper. So as I begin to write a massive migraine comes out of no where – its like i get nailed in the back of the head with a brick and someone is stabbing me in the eyes. I tried to obliterate it with medicine – but that doesnt work – i tried to sleep and every slight annoyance shoots through my head and neck. I dont get it, I thought i did everything right (sleep & wasnt stressed about the paper) and yet got sidelined – I hate headaches, they dont make any sense and there doesnt seem to be a way to combat them. I ate alot of cheese within this time period, so i googled cheese and migraine headaches and I found some responses for it being the cause. i dont buy it though, im convinced you can put any 2 or 3 symptoms into google and there is someone who has written about it.
Filed under: greatness
I have recently felt the itch to have more activity in my life recently. Rebecca and I have been in a constant cycle of work and no play – im OK with that for a while, but as time progresses I have the need to go on some sort of adventure. Since we live in a place were most people vacation, you would think this wouldnt be difficult but the kicker is that we arent exactly affluent
My need was met when we headed out to Anaheim with our friends from Kansas City – the Morris’ – to see the Royals play the Angels. Even though I have loads of school work to do, I was glad for the excursion. There is something about beer at a baseball game that puts the mind at ease. The 2 “bombers” (the name dubbed by the angels concessions people) was quite refreshing and was worth every penny, (though my wife may not feel the same way though) – and was exactly what I needed
Filed under: random thoughts
Noted that I am a large individual – but I usually have more caloric intake come in the form of cow than just sugary things. Everyonce in awhile though, Ill admit i like a donut – or a fancie – as they call them out here. When we first moved out here i decided to get some for breakfast for Rebecca and I, but after driving around Pasadena they all looked gross. Maybe I should thank Southern Baptists and the nutrion that they supply to encourage sunday school attendance to the rise of Shipleys and other donut establishments. I guess this is one tangible expression of liberalism effecting my life?
Anyways I went on a donut reconesence mission to see if there is any local hope (im sure somewhere in LA there are good donuts just not within a couple miles of my house) so I hit up Winchells and a place called Burger & Donuts – thats right 2 establishments, this was an information gathering event. Burger Donuts isnt a new concept bc I have seen a FriedChicken donut place out here and a chinese food donut place as well. Anyways I gotta admit I was disgusted by Winchell’s – you have to be from the midwest to like this place – HiYO! …but I also admit that Burger/Donut was quite tastey – maybe even rivaling some of the better donuts I have had. So here is to you Burger Donuts, you who pioneered the ability to serve 2 of my favorite foods under one roof!
Filed under: Uncategorized
I had a good weekend. I am trying not to get as stressed out as I have been in previous quarters, I don’t know if that is due to an easier class load or if I have finally learned my lessons about planning accurately, hence alleviating any unnecessary stress.
I have been pretty handy lately – my old man would be impressed. Not having an air-conditioner has lead to some, lets say, creative methods of cooling our ole house down. I ‘installed’ box fans outside 3 windows – installing means that the fan sits on cheap metal brackets and is being held against the house by bright orange bungee cords. Tasteful I know. The hope is that it will work because there is something about a hot, stuffy house that is bad for my marriage. The other day it got to 100 and Rebecca and I were doing our own things in the house, but I had a consistent paranoia that I was pissing her off some how – and it was compounded by the fact that I was convinced that she was lying to me when she would respond kindly that she ‘was fine’ – so its weird how the heat will agitate you and confound the mind.
Hopefully this mini-wind tunnel that I have created will alleviate that in the future and marital bliss will reign like it usually does in the Rich home.
Filed under: spiritual ponderings
I just got done taking a class with Dr. John Goldingay over the OT Writings (Psalms, Job, Ecclesiastes, etc. – this middle chunk of the OT plus Daniel) – here is my final paper.
Development of Masculinity through the Old Testament Writings
God nurtures his creation; though fallen, it is far from forsaken. He relentlessly pursues humanity to restore them into proper relationship with him. Additionally, God works to restore humanity to fulfill their proper roles in the creative order. Through his Spirit, the church and the scriptures, God has provided the means to develop the male heart aptly, in order that it might reflect true masculinity. The Writings offer a unique insight on how to develop the principles of wisdom, courage and honesty within a man’s soul.
The subject of developing masculinity in light of God’s truth is very important to me. Knowing that there were holes in my development, I looked to God to lay the foundation for the building of both my character and my masculinity. Through prayer, the scriptures, various mentors and the Holy Spirit, God has filled and is filling the holes in my heart that the father’s in my life left void. In studying the Writings this quarter, God has further articulated his heart for developing men out of boys. The Writings offer me a glimpse into the hearts of men who struggled through the attainment of wisdom, courage and honesty. They teach me what my father-figures did not, acting as role models to instruct me on how to live as a man who fears the Lord.
Wisdom
The first requirement for developing masculinity is found is the attainment of wisdom. Wisdom is to be the bedrock of the male soul. Although wisdom is not easily defined nor easily obtained, it is foundational to a man’s character. Through wisdom, men are able to navigate through this life and make proper decisions. Daniel Estes describes wisdom as “using an inductive approach to observe the natural world and human world. As it detects general patterns of cause and effect it derives from them lessons that can be applied to other situations.” The Writings have much to offer in describing how and why we should strive toward the attainment of this wisdom.
Wisdom should be the starting point in the development of masculinity because, as Proverbs tells us, it is intrinsic to how God has ordered his creation. Proverbs 3:19-20 tells us, “The Lord by wisdom founded the earth; by understanding he established the heavens; by his knowledge the deeps broke open, and the clouds drop down the dew.” God is the great architect who designed both the intricacies of the soul and the vastness of the universe. It is undeniable that wisdom speaks to the world that has been shaped and is now being governed by the all-wise Creator. He has imbedded wisdom in the world and humans are challenged to seek diligently for it. This is why Yahweh is adamant in connecting his creative identity with man’s decision-making process in Proverbs 3:21-23: “My child, do not let these escape from your sight: keep sound wisdom and prudence, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck. Then you will walk on your way securely and your foot will not stumble.” The pursuit of wisdom is to be cherished according to Proverbs, and likewise it is to be pursued throughout a man’s journey.
The world offers a kaleidoscope of wise saying sayings; so how is a man to rightly develop his understanding wisdom, and likewise, folly? The Writings teach us that ‘the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight’ (Prov. 9:10) True wisdom is found in reverence towards Yahweh, otherwise known as the ‘Fear of the Lord.’ Due to the negative connotations of fear in our modern-day culture, reverence is the better adjective to describe this attitude which a man should have towards Yahweh. Reverence consists of having a plain understanding that God is in fact, God. Yahweh is above all things, and holds all things together; His strength, power, wisdom and understanding have no equal, therefore man should readily find his position underneath the Almighty. Masculinity is perverted when it fails to keep this relationship in proper alignment. When man values his own needs above the needs of his family, community or his God, selfishness and pride flourish. Job fell into this trap by failing to uphold reverence for Yahweh and convincing himself of his own righteousness. Yahweh extended grace to Job by demonstrating the vastness of his power and the breadth of his sovereignty.
Selfishness and pride are two of the most devastating sins on our families and world today. Instead of serving our wives and children, men are culpable to looking to their own needs first. Selfishness and pride results in divorce, sexual sin, and neglect of a man’s responsibilities, and these attributes are then reciprocated onto the lives of their children. Reverence to Yahweh keeps the male heart restrained, causing him to examine his needs, plans, and decisions in light of Yahweh’s values. When Yahweh is kept at the center of a man’s mind, decisions are made in light of Yahweh’s judgment. It should be noted that reverence to Yahweh is the just beginning of wisdom – to understand any point of wisdom is to understand it in light of God’s abiding presence over creation.
Understanding the Proverbs in light of God’s presence allows moral actions to be properly understood. On their own, they would feel like simple lists of what to do and not do. The male heart finds integrity appealing when it not only results in personal blessing but when we understand it in a broader context of pleasing Yahweh and establishing his Kingdom at the same time. The Writings also recommend to us that wisdom is important in providing an active guard against folly. Folly can be described as pursuing the riches of the world over the and above the tenants of Yahweh. In Ecclesiastes, the author describes such pursuits as ‘vanity of vanities … what do people gain from all their toil?’ (Eccl. 1:2-3) Why do we pursue wealth, fame and fortune when in the end it carries no real value? Wisdom tells us that masculinity is developed when a man sets his heart and mind on tasks that carry the blessing of heaven: justice, relationships of integrity, moral purity and family.
Courage
Courage is another attribute which the Writings exhort the male heart to strive toward. Though courage is an essential component of masculinity, without wisdom at its foundation, courage is immature and naïve. Wars are waged when courage is not properly tempered by wisdom. However, when courage is nurtured by wisdom, the bonds of injustice are broken in society and within families. The Writings offer many dynamic accounts of courage that encourage men to function in the same way.
Growing in wisdom also means that there are many lessons to be learned from women; in fact, one of the essential aspects of masculinity is the knowledge that men must and should learn from women. One such display of this is seen in the Book of Esther. Esther displays courage in the form of sacrifice by convincing King Ahasuerus not to slaughter the Jews. Her beauty initially won her favor in the King’s eyes, but her willingness to risk her life on behalf of her people is an example of courage and personal sacrifice. True masculinity looks to secure a future for those it can help; its goal is self-sacrifice for the well being of others. Esther provides a perfect example of courage in that she was willing to risk her stature through her refusal to remain silent when the plight of her people was imminent. She could have chosen to remain silent and dwell in the personal security of her place in the King’s court, but instead she chose to forsake her security so that she could obtain liberty for her people. When Esther tells the King her true identity and pleads for her people, she exhorts the King to exhibit the courage required of him. Esther’s courage was necessary to arouse the King’s sense of justice and desire for righteousness; it was this woman who helped develop the King’s masculinity. This courage involved sacrifice on the part of Esther, but her story remains to exhort men to exhibit a similar amount of sacrifice and courage.
Courage is also displayed in the Writings throughout the Book of Daniel. Daniel teaches us that courage not only equates to sacrifice, but it is also attributed to faithfulness. Daniel represents a picture for Israel and for us today as someone who practiced the principle of walking in reverence to Yahweh. Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego, refusing to defile themselves, chose to forgo the King’s rations. They instead chose to eat only vegetables and water, resulting in a healthier and stronger appearance than the rest who were eating the King’s rations. This story illustrates that for the one who exhibits courage and chooses righteousness by way of sacrifice, Yahweh honors commitment and make provisions. Courage is displayed again in Chapter 3, when Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego refuse to worship the cultures’ gods. They show valor in choosing to embrace the prospect of martyrdom rather than submit to cultural norms. Their courage and the resulting intervention by Yahweh is an example that we are not alone in our struggle for justice and that God may radically intervene to display his glory to the world. Finally, in the sixth chapter of Daniel, Daniel displays courage by remaining faithful to God regardless of the political pressures of his culture. Daniel would rather place his life in Yahweh’s hands and be thrown into the lions’ pit than to dishonor Yahweh. Daniel behaved as though his life was safer in the lion’s pit, within the realm of God’s sovereignty, than it would be under the protection and false security of the worldly kingdom. Daniel is an example to the Jews to continue to pursue righteousness regardless of the end result. These stories collectively challenge the Jews to stay committed to Torah and their God, regardless of the culture or kingdom to which they are subjected.
In Daniel and Esther, God provides Israel with living examples of faith so that the children of Israel could imitate these actions in any situation. If we are to partner with God in bringing his future Kingdom into reality, it will come through courageous actions such as these. Men will need to use this strength to stand against injustices and fight on behalf of God’s wisdom. Esther and Daniel are used to be witnesses for men to refuse to shy away from courageous action; these stories exhort men to keep their eyes wide open to the pain and injustice in the world and take action to fight against them.
Honesty
In addition to wisdom and courage, we are taught in the Psalms that a wise and courageous man is one who values and embodies a life of honesty. It takes both wisdom and courage for a man to bare his emotions before God, wisdom to know his own heart well enough to express himself accurately and courage to be unafraid of apparent weakness. In the Psalms, we see men who are unafraid to admit that they broken and needy, that they are terrified of their enemy, or that they are actually angry with God. We read of righteous men admitting to their God emotions such as “I am languishing… my bones are troubled.” (Psalm 6:2) It is rare to hear the type of honesty in our churches, particularly from those in leadership. And yet, in the psalms we find men, writing in the name of David, laying before God their full emotions. Many wives would love to get this amount of detail from their husband about how they are really feeling. Many congregations would love to know that their pastor hurts to a similar extent as they do. We do not, however, exhort men toward this type of honesty; instead, we often cause them to shy away from it. Men enter the church building wearing a mask, attempting to exemplify wisdom and courage, yet feeling that this requires them to hide their true selves. The Psalms tell us that wisdom and courage require a man to not only know their emotions but share those emotions with God and others. They teach us that the man who is able to fully express his anguish before God is one who is both wise and brave, the one who is most fully exemplifying the fear of the Lord.
One of the most startling aspects of the Psalms is the fact that they question God. “Why, O Lord, do you stand afar off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?” (Psalm 10:1). How do we reconcile wisdom’s fear of the Lord with these seemingly irreverent questions? The Psalmist’s reverence for God lies in his belief that God is large enough to handle these questions. There is no need to hide from this God, for he is ever-present in our time of need and looks kindly upon the one with a broken and contrite spirit. Similarly, Lamentations offer men an avenue to express the depths of their uncertainty and pain when their present reality seems completely unbalanced from the way in which they envision Yahweh to act. Jerusalem, once a symbol of pride and joy, which was built by Yahweh’s hand is now conquered and the temple is destroyed. What was strong was now brought low. Lamentations represent an honest expression of pain when the very fabric of life is at question. Perplexity leads to despair, and Lamentations teaches us how to deal with this despair honestly through a continual pursuit of Yahweh despite our current circumstances (Lam 1:1-7) and an unwavering faith that his presence will abide once more in the future. Therefore the writer can express, “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him” (Lam 3:22-24).
Conclusion
God does not desire the male heart to develop as a wild vine but rather as ‘oaks of righteousness’ (Is 61:3). With deep roots in reverence to Yahweh, men can then be confident to stand firm against oppression in light of Yahweh’s abiding spirit. Though there is not a specific prescription for developing masculinity, it requires both nurture and pruning at appropriate times to ensure that it flourishes. Wisdom, courage and honesty are essential components to ensuring that masculinity is developed well and that a man will be a benefit to their families and their community. These three components are essential in imparting a comprehensive strength which serves as a provision to navigate through times of uncertainty and pain. Particularly in an often-fatherless generation, the Writings serve as father-figures to men both young and old, instructing us in how to live as men who fear the Lord.
